I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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