My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
