I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
