NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize