dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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