i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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