I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My legs feel like baby dolphins
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
