I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
