using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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