I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
