Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Congratulations! We have a period
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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