She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
