Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
