they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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