Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize