So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize