Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
