Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
