It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
