I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
