Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
