Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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