DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
