I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
