New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
