I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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