Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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