at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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