I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
