All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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