....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
