if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
