Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
