If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
