Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
