Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Everything about him screamed your future.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
