There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
