his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
