Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize