My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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