I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
