I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
