I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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