that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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