Barsexuality is the new black.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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