a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
