Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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