what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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