You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
