by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
no. you can't hotbox the world.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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