you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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