Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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