I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize