oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
