Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are we still banned from the library?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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