she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
