Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles