dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
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Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.