is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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